read several articles this past week about how loneliness has become endemic in our culture, particularly among young people, and this reminded me of the history of the piece I’ve chosen to share as the Sculpture of the Month for September.
Usually, I like to explore the mythical or archetypal references in my sculptures to see how they might provide relevant insight into current circumstances. The name of this piece, What’s Your Sign?, seems to make a joke about getting to know someone via their astrology, but what’s coming up for me, now, has more to do with relationship.
What’s Your Sign?
I have always valued close friends and tend to pursue friendships that I think will inspire and interest me for the rest of my life, even if we move far away from one another. These kindred spirits are typically interested in pursuing the meaning and direction of our life on the planet and also have the ability to challenge the development of my own insights. Therefore, it mystifies me when a friend suddenly disappears from my life without any explanation.
Given my recent readings on loneliness, this sculpture came to mind because I created it during a period of collaboration with a fellow artist on several shows in both San Diego and across the border in Tecate, Mexico. Then, without explanation, he no longer wanted to see or talk with me, despite my efforts to contact him. He is the person who named this piece.
So this sculpture reminds me, personally, of the delicate and humble way inspiring friendships are built and the confusion and pain that results when such a relationship gets dramatically severed without explanation. The loss can feel similar to the death of a loved one. We find ourselves wondering what we might have done or said to cause the rift, but we only have a painful puzzle without a solution.
This has happened to me very few times, but it always mystifies me. Clearly, the person does not want to explain themself. While there can be just cause for abruptly ending a harmful relationship, an unwillingness to communicate with a sincere friend could betray a lack of moral character.
Today, we see this “ghosting” phenomenon more frequently, since the Internet makes it easy to separate ourselves from others – either personally or politically – without having to explain our feelings or reasons. But I find something deeply tragic about such transactions.
As a practice, ghosting has normalized our lack of empathy for each other, leading to fewer personal connections and the ultimate loneliness of hanging out only with those who share our beliefs and perspectives. Even more importantly, it leads us to select friends who do not challenge us to remain open, who do not stimulate new insights, nor help us develop empathy for those with conflicting beliefs. While ghosting may appear only interpersonal, its wider acceptance among the general public rends our collective ability to cooperate in the face of disagreement and makes our society dysfunctional.
In this sculpture, we witness the sort of humble reaching out – between big and small, human and fish, land and water – that’s required to empathize and open to someone different from ourselves. I believe such connections have the potential to challenge us to life’s noble goals.
So, friend, What’s Your Sign?
